Girl Genius
Girl Genius

When Seffie schemes to send Tarvek from Paris to England to meet up with Agatha, she contracts the small cargo airship Mopey Tortoise to make the delivery, along with its existing cargo of fermented Cloud Baboon dung. The Tortoise is under the command of Captain Jeanne Hawkins, whose last name we learn only after their arrival in England. Her first name is not revealed until even later in the story, in the port of Calais.

The good Captain appears to be about thirty or so, and sports large earrings, numerous tattoos and short pink hair. One of her hands has been replaced with a Sparky gadget which can be reconfigured to supply various tools, including a quaffing mug, a telescope, a dagger/harpoon and a trowel-like eye-shader. Speaking of which, one of her eyes is covered with a bandanna, over which is placed a tricorn-type hat.

All of this might lead to the cumulative impression that she is a pirate, but as she is quick to state, she is not: she is instead a cargo-hauler, officially registered and operating under the British flag. She is, however, of proud Europan Pirate descent (both her parents were pirates), and she adapts her garb and general demeanor in homage to that fact, as does her entire (all female[1]) crew.

Unfortunately, en route to England she loses most of said crew to attacks by boarders pursuing Tarvek: first a band of Smoke Knights sent by Grandmother, and then Jaron and a pack of the Knights of the Hunt dispatched by Tweedle. The Captain herself survives thanks to Tarvek's creating an anti-Knight chemical weapon, and then the arrival of Gil and.. wow ! Europan Pirate mega-celebrity Bangladesh DuPree (Squee!) who deals with Jaron. (He then gets carted off to points unknown by the surviving Smoke Knights.) Gil orders the Tortoise turned around and flown to Castle Wulfenbach (wherever that is currently located, it's not England) but it gets re-re-directed back to its original destination when Tarvek and Bang knock out and chain up Gil, hoping to eventually remove the personality imprint which Klaus placed inside his son's head.

Following this successful delivery, the reader joins Captain Hawkins as she celebrates back in France, where she is hired once again by Seffie, this time to take the latter woman and two others on an emergency and highly covert trip.

Possibly Useful Information[]

Former pirate-queen Sanaa also has pink hair. Whether this is officially A Thing among Europan Pirates remains to be seen.

The inspiration for the Captain's name is likely Jim Hawkins, the hero of Robert Lewis Stevenson's classic pirate novel Treasure Island.


  1. It's been made quite clear that Hawkins is an enthusiastic lover of the ladies rather than the fellows; British spy-Spark Trelawney Thorpe is among the ongoing targets of her not-exactly-subtle advances.